


Meet the Family

by BlueStag



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Day 4, M/M, Thor Quill week 2018, mentions of Gamora/ Brunnhilde, mentions of Nebula/ Mantis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 10:21:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15313413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueStag/pseuds/BlueStag
Summary: Peter only planned to have dinner with Thor, but Thor wanted Peter to properly meet Loki.





	Meet the Family

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking it'd be cool to have Peter meeting Thor's family for the first time, but I mean all he really has is Loki so I thought 'sure why not?' and just went with it. Sorry I couldn't upload earlier, had a surprisingly busy week and warning I wrote this at 2 in the morning and didn't edit it and to be honest I'm kind of afraid to.

Their relationship had been built upon lust after cheating death, but over time they realized that they actually meant something to each other, and started doing couple stuff. The concept of dating was alien to Peter, he was more of a one night stand kind of guy, before Thor the furthest he’d over gotten with somebody was they slept together seven separate times before never seeing each other again. 

This whole boyfriend thing was unnatural for Peter, so he did his research and looked for things that couples do aside from sex, and he consulted his other friends in relationships for help too, Gamora has been dating Brunhilde for about the same amount of time as Peter has been sleeping with Thor, and Mantis and Nebula were recently engaged. 

Gamora told Peter to go grocery shopping with Thor, and then making dinner it seemed stupid, but it was kind of genius at the same time. It was an icebreaker that wasn’t just all awkward small talk. “You’re allergic to peaches?” Peter asked, Thor nodded. “I had no idea that that was even possible, like you hear about those allergies like shellfish and peanuts but you never think of random fruits.” 

“Do you have any allergies?” Thor asked. 

“None that I know of.” Peter said, he’d never really looked into his sicknesses. It was just a thing that he would get through, and that was that. Whatever made him get suck wasn’t important, just getting better so that he could get back to whatever if was he was doing and do it well. 

“You should probably look into eating healthier.” Thor commented as he watched Peter put all the candy bags that he could fit into his arms into the cart. 

“Candy is a staple in my diet, Thor, it helps me get through the day.” Peter said.

“Maybe you should try something else to help you get through the day.” Thor suggested, Peter rolled his eyes. 

“Drinking isn’t that much better, Thor, and drugs are expensive.” Peter said. 

“That’s not what I meant, I was thinking something like meditation or scrapbooking.” Thor said. 

“Scrapbooking?” Peter asked. 

“My mom used to scrapbook when upset, whenever we saw that glitter glue we knew there was trouble.” Thor said. 

“My mom used to cook when she was upset, our last few months together our house was never out of food. Unless she couldn’t cook because she was weak from the chemo, or had to spend a few nights at the hospital.” Peter said, it wasn’t hard for him to talk about his mom anymore, sure it was a sore subject, and he would never be completely 100% over it, but after killing Ego he was ready to accept what happened to him. 

“Do you know how to cook?” Thor asked. 

“A little bit, yeah.” Peter shrugged, “Not to brag but I can make a killer calzone.” 

“Good, then you can cook yourself some healthy meals, and you’re making me a calzone tonight.” Thor said, he put back all but one bag of candy while Peter ventured off to get the ingredients he needed. He ran into Rocket, who had a cart full of junk food. 

“What are you doing here, Quill?” Rocket asked. “Oh I see how it is, you came here to find out what food I’m hiding. Well for your information I don’t hide any food, it’s Drax that hides the food, not me.” 

“What? No. Thor and I are on a date.” Peter said. 

“At a grocery store? He’s going to leave you if you don’t step up your game.” Rocket said, “And I’ll side with him when you two break up, and then I’ll put a flaming turd on your doorstep.” 

“Rocket, we live in the same spaceship.” Peter said. 

“Not when you and Thor breakup.” Rocket said. 

“We’re not breaking up, Rocket.” Peter asserted. 

“That’s what you think, Star-munch.” Rocket said, and then went to check out, “What’re you lookin’ at lady?” Peter looked back at a very terrified woman who had to be in her mid to late fifties staring at Rocket in horror before screaming. “The only thing scary is your haircut, woman, go fix it.” 

“Be nice, Rocket.” Peter said. 

“I save the goddamn galaxy all the time, I deserve to be treated with upmost respect.” Rocket said. 

“It’s utmost.” Peter said. 

“I’m pretty sure it’s upmost.” Rocket said, and went to check out, but the cashier didn’t know whether or not to sell food to a damn racoon. “I’ll call your manager and you’re going to get your ass fired, Kyle for discrimination.”

Peter sighed and walked away, he knew better than to get involved, and worst case scenario Rocket steals various snack cakes from a chain grocery store. He brought the calzone ingredients back to the cart, he remembered the recipe pretty damn well to his own surprise, although Peter wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed his memory was on point, especially his memories before his mother died. 

“You’ll never believe who I ran into.” Thor said. 

“Rocket?” Peter asked. 

“No, Loki.” Thor said, Peter nearly shit himself, “He’ll be joining us for dinner tonight!” Oh shit, this was a meet the family type deal. 

“Hooray?” Peter said, unsurely, Loki cocked his head to the side, “Wait, Loki what’re you doing here?” 

“I was telling Thor to get me a very specific kind of granola, and he couldn’t find it so I decided to come over and get it myself.” Loki said. “Thor tells me you’re making calzones tonight, can you make mine with black olives and peppers?” 

“Sure.” Peter said, “Do we need to get those or do you have them in the house?” 

“Olives yes, peppers mo.” Thor said. “Loki go get the peppers.” 

“I have to do everything.” Loki sighed, he left to the produce section, Peter had so many questions to ask Thor, like why? 

“What were you thinking, isn’t your brother homicidal?” Peter asked. 

“We’ve been going out for a while, I thought maybe you should meet my brother. You two never had a real conversation so when Loki got here it seemed appropriate to invite him over. And no, he isn’t homicidal, he’s just weird.” Thor said, “He won’t kill you.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t know if he’s really going to like the guy banging his brother very much.” Peter said, “I’ve heard that he has some very strong opinions on humans.” 

“I wouldn’t worry too much.” Thor replied, Loki was back with a bag of green bell peppers. 

“Is it just me or does he really like the colors black and green?” Peter asked. Loki blinked and looked at the peppers, Thor smiled. 

“You’re doing great.” Thor mouthed at Peter and gave him a thumbs up. Loki rolled his eyes and put the peppers in the cart. “Is there anything else we should get?” Thor asked, Peter wanted to go get a cake or something from the bakery section but he didn’t want Loki to think he was a pig or anything. 

“Nebula wants a cake.” Peter blurted. 

“Really? Well she’s full of surprises!” Thor said, “Have you met Nebula yet? She’s a lot like you, a blue and angry and adopted.” 

“You know, I knew there was something familiar about you.” Peter said, “I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but Thor got it.” If Peter could handle drinks with Nebula he could probably handle dinner with Loki. 

Thor paid for all the groceries, he was the only one with Earth money, and they loaded everything into the trunk of the minivan. “You drive a minivan? Haha loser.” Peter said, Thor sighed, it wasn’t even the first time that Peter saw the minivan, everytime they’re near it, he just has to comment on it. 

As Peter and Thor loaded the trunk, Loki took it upon himself to sit in the shotgun seat, Peter sat in back as Thor drove. It took a lot of willpower not to ask Loki to get in back, it was such a meaningless trivial thing, but it was driving Peter insane. Loki turned on the radio, then flipped through FM until there was static, and he just sat there humming along to the hiss of it. Peter wondered if he genuinely enjoyed listening to static or wanted to annoy Peter. 

After a very quiet and awkward ride home, Peter got started on the calzones and Thor went on a packy run, Loki sat in the living room watching Peter’s cartoons on the tv in dead silence. Peter put some garlic knots in the oven as he worked on the calzones, if he had time he might make a salad too. 

“I’m back!” Thor announced, he joined Loki on the couch. “This is Adventure Time. It’s a very charming series.” 

“I like the vampire.” Loki said. “The ice king reminds me of our father.” 

“The ice king always reminded me of you.” Thor laughed. 

“I see, it’s because I’m a frost giant.” Loki said. 

“No, it’s because you’re a wizard, you’re all icy and a little insane.” Thor said. 

“You’re not wrong.” Loki shrugged, Peter took the garlic knots out of the oven, and put the calzones in and tossed a last minute salad, he quickly set the table. It’s been a while since he set up a nice dinner, this felt kind of unnatural for him. 

“The calzones should be ready in about forty five minutes, we can start with the appetizers.” Peter said. 

Everyone sat at the table, “So, Loki, you’ve met Peter.” Thor said, oh god we’re starting with this, Peter thought, there is no way this would go well. Loki swallowed a mouthful of kale and looked up at Thor, who had taken Peter’s hand into his own.

“Which one?” Loki asked. 

“This one, Peter Quill.” Thor said. 

“Yes, he’s quite… presumptuous.” Loki said. 

“I’m right here, and I would appreciate it if you dumbed that down a little.” Peter said. 

“He means to say that you’re very forward.” Thor said. 

“It’s one of my best qualities.” Peter smiled, Loki smiled back and took another bite of the salad, he was questioning his brother’s taste in men. 

“Just curious, what are your other good qualities?” Loki asked. 

“I’m nice, I like music… That’s all I got right now.” Peter said, he laughed nervously and ate a bit of salad, he really didn’t like salad all that much but did anyone really like salad? They just ate it to impress people. 

“He’s very compassionate, and righteous. Very altruistic, and he is very charming.” Thor said. 

“What he said. And I’m also pretty powerful, I killed a celestial.” Peter said. 

“You did what now?” Loki asked. 

“It’s a long story, but he was a total dick. He killed my mom after knocking her up, enslaved my friend and possible sister, crushed my walkman, and then tortured me and tried to kill my friends.” Peter explained, “So I killed him. And it was super badass.” 

“You have a sister?” Thor asked.  
“I probably have a bunch I don’t know about, but Mantis could actually be my sister as it turns out. We’re getting a DNA test pretty soon.” Peter said, “We ordered one on amazon. Should be coming soon, they said two day shipping but it’s been three days.” 

“That’s only for amazon prime.” Loki said. 

“Oh shit.” Peter laughed, “We do not have amazon prime.” 

“Then it’ll probably be in by next week.” Loki said. “Was the celestial your father?” 

“Yeah, I’m half god.” Peter said, “But I don’t have any powers anymore since I killed him. But I’m cool with that, I’m a god that’s so awesome that I don’t need powers to be cool. I have the power of Kevin Bacon and Gamora on my side.” 

“Who’s Kevin Bacon?” Loki asked. 

“He is the most influential person on the face of this planet.” Peter said, “You should look into getting on his good side, he could make or break new asgard.” 

“Would you have the fax number for Mr. Kevin Bacon?” Loki asked. 

“Sorry, but no, you’ll have to go to his agents for that.” Peter said. 

“It makes me so happy to see that you two are getting along.” Thor said, “The two people in this world that I love the most.” 

“Can I ask why you love him?” Loki asked, “No offense, it’s just… He’s out of his Midgard mind.” 

“I take no offense to that because I take it as a compliment.” Peter said. “And when you taste my calzones, you will understand why your brother loves me.” 

“Because of your cooking?” Loki asked. 

“No, he didn’t know I could cook up until now.” Peter said, “I didn’t know I could cook either. I mean, yeah my mom made sure I knew how to make food for myself, and I did a lot of kitchen work for the Ravagers, but they’d eat anything so I didn’t really have to try to make good food.” 

“So why then?” Loki asked. 

“Love is blind.” Peter said. 

“It has to be if he fell in love with you.” Loki sneered. 

“Excuse me, but I am gorgeous.” Peter said, “My mom was a beautiful woman and my dad shapeshifted himself to be the most attractive man ever so there is literally no way I could be ugly.” 

“I’m kidding.” Loki said, his voice was dull and kind of somber, Peter had no idea how he would be able to handle Loki. “But seriously, why are you two a couple?” 

“Do you really want to know?” Peter asked. 

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.” Loki said. 

“Well, it started off when he crashed into our spaceship after you faked your death. I thought, holy shit this is the most beautiful man I have ever seen and then Gamora was all over him and I was like ‘Gamora no, he’s mine!’ and then he called me a moron and stole my stuff. Then I died, then he brought me back to life and I thanked him with a blowjob, then at Tony’s after party we got drunk and fucked, and then when we were sober we fucked again, and then he bought me a sandwich and we became friends and kept banging so after a while we became boyfriends.” Peter said. 

“That was much more specific than you needed to be.” Loki said. 

“It’s pretty accurate though.” Thor said. The timer in the kitchen went off, “I’ll get the calzones.” Thor left to the kitchen, leaving Loki and Peter alone. 

“Listen, I don’t care if you hate me or not, but Thor does. Your approval means a lot to him, you’re all the family he has left and he wants me to be apart of it. I’d do just about anything to make your brother happy, I’ve literally gone to the moon and back for him but right now it seems you’re like the dark side of the moon.” Peter said. 

“That made zero sense.” Loki said. 

“Yeah, I thought maybe I’d be able to come up with a better way to word that but you get the idea, right?” Peter asked. 

“I guess so.” Loki said, “I don’t hate you, Star prince, I just know you’re going to hurt Thor and when that happens I will rip your heart out from your throat. I am not bluffing, I have done that before and I took great satisfaction in doing so.” 

“It’s Star-lord,” Peter said, “And I’d never intentionally do anything to hurt Thor.” 

“I trust you.” Loki said. 

“I feel very accomplished because something's telling me that that’s not something you say to every person you meet.” Peter said, “But I really don’t trust you.” 

“You’re smarter than you look.” Loki said, Peter laughed, “But you shouldn’t have no faith in me, or do, because then you will not be disappointed.” 

“You know, I said that exact thing to Yondu once, he’s like my adopted dad, he’s dead now, but whenever he sent me out I’d tell him to lower his standards.” Peter said, “And he threatened to eat me.” 

Thor came back with the calzones, “How do you eat these?” Loki asked, as he butchered it with his knife and fork. 

“Well, you’re supposed to just eat it with your hands, but I guess you could do that too.” Peter said, watching Loki cut the calzone, it was hard to watch someone do something so simple so wrong. Thor got the hang of the calzone, he’d had calzones before. 

“You’re cooking is… very good.” Loki said.

“Thanks.” Peter said, he was already almost done with his calzone. 

“It is very good, you’re going to have to cook for me more often.” Thor said, Peter huffed, he didn’t like cooking all that much. 

“Do I have to? It’s a lot of work and it’s hard to cook on space ships, and I’m hardly ever around your place.” Peter said. 

“You don’t have to, it’d just be nice.” Thor said. 

“God damn it now I want to cook for you, thanks Thor.” Peter said. 

“You’re so sweet.” Thor said, “That reminds me, I was thinking of conversation topics while in the kitchen. So if you were a drink, what kind of drink would you be?” 

“Bone dry martini.” Loki said without taking any time to think. 

“Fruit punch with cheap vodka.” Peter said. 

“Wow, those are both pretty accurate, all I got for myself was lemonade.” Thor said. 

“You’d be a blonde espresso spiked with kahlua.” Peter said. 

“Why would you put kahlua in an espresso?” Thor asked. 

“I don’t know, why not?” Peter asked. “Sometimes you want to spice things up.” He’d once combined a bit of every drink in the milano to make an ultimate super drink, but he ended up with liquid poison that nearly killed Rocket. 

“You’d be seltzer, because you’re so bland.” Loki said to Thor. 

“I like seltzer.” Thor said, “The raspberry kind is the best, by the way.” 

“That’s disgusting.” Loki said. 

“I have to agree with your brother there, that’s some nasty stuff. It’s like drinking the feeling of bricks.” Peter said. 

“Somehow that actually makes sense.” Loki said. 

“Thank you.” Peter said, “Now, are you guys ready for that cake I said Nebula asked for? Truth is I really wanted to get a cake, but I was too embarrassed to say it was for me.” 

“We knew.” Thor said, “You are terrible at lying, why would Nebula ask for a cake? She’s not even near Earth.” 

“Maybe I could teach you how to lie properly one day.” Loki said. 

“Maybe, but I like being a relatively honest dude.” Peter said, “It makes me feel better about myself when I do stupid stuff, like at least I’m honest about it, I say and no one argues because honesty is good and I’m good at it and they know it.” 

“Well when you lie, everyone believes you’re telling the truth when you say something along the lines of, ‘I know I lie a lot, but you have to trust me on this, it would be so much easier to lie right now but I am telling the truth. Trust me.” Loki said, laughing to himself. 

“I fell for that many times.” Thor said. 

“He still does.” Loki said, laughing.

“I do.” Thor laughed. 

“Wow, well I’m going to go get the cake from the fridge.” Peter said, he got up to go get the cake. 

“What do you think of him?” Thor asked.  
“I like him.” Loki said, “He’s just as pathetic and easy to manipulate as you.” 

“I knew you would like him.” Thor said, 

“Well, I’m just glad you found someone that’s easy to push around.” Loki said. 

“Peter isn’t as pathetic as he looks.” Thor said, “He’s quite strong, he’s been through a lot, and he adapts.” 

“I hope he can adapt to poison.” Loki said, “I may or may not have poisoned one of your wines.” 

“It was mine, I can taste it, I’ve built an immunity because you poison me so often.” Thor said, “No hard feelings though, just be more careful next time. I’d be upset if you killed him.” 

“I don’t want to kill him, believe it or not.” Loki said. “I’m just bored.” 

“I don’t.” Thor said. Loki smirked, he genuinely didn’t want to hurt Peter Quill, he seemed like a pretty good guy and he makes wonderful food, and is easily manipulated, Loki wouldn’t dream of hurting someone so useful. 

“He loves you very much, you know.” Loki said. 

“I know, and I love him very much.” Thor said. 

“And I respect that.” Loki said, Thor smiled as Peter came back with the cake, it said in blue icing ‘when things get bad just remember that you killed your dad!’ It was for Nebula, but coincidentally, it also looked as if it could have been written for Peter too.

“There’s too much frosting.” Thor said, eating around as much of the frosting as he could, Peter on the other hand was able to somehow eat the massive globs of sugar on the plate. It was too sweet for the asgardians, but not for Peter. After cake, Loki gathered his things, and said his goodbyes to the two of them. 

“Tonight truly has been wonderful, thank you for having me.” Loki said, he gave Thor and then Peter a hug, Peter anticipated a knife being lodged between his shoulders, but was pleasantly surprised when he wasn’t stabbed. 

“Thank you for coming.” Thor said. 

“What he said.” Peter said, waving as Loki walked back to his house next doors. “Are you two neighbors?” Peter asked, Thor nodded. 

“All asgardians are neighbors.” Thor replied, “We left Korg to do the zoning, he just put all the residential lots next to each other and all the park and industrial lots next to each other, I think we need to fire him.” 

“You think? You saw my plans, Thor, they were so much better than whatever he has in mind.” Loki said, turning around.

“I didn’t want to pick favorites!” Thor argued. 

“Good night brother,” Loki said, going inside of his home. 

“That went better than I thought it’d go.” Peter said with relief. 

“How did you think it’d go?” Thor asked. 

“Oh you know, murder then fake suicide.” Peter said. Thor shrugged, it wasn’t too far fetched. Loki has done some questionable things, but he didn’t really have a legitimate reason to kill Peter and Thor wouldn’t let that happen. Peter went to get his phone out of his pocket, but it wasn’t there. “He took my phone.” 

“He took my wallet.” Thor said. “Typical Loki.” 

“Why else did you think he’d want to hug us? Personally, I thought he was going to stab me.” Peter said. 

“I thought he would disappear in mid air and then laugh at us.” Thor said. 

“I actually had a good time, though.” Peter said. “He’s pretty cool. You should meet Kraglin, he’s basically my uncle.” 

“I’m glad you got along with my brother.” Thor said, “But don’t let your guard down, and don’t take it personally when he betrays you. It’s nothing personal, it’s just the way he is.” 

“Should you cancel your credit card?” Peter asked. 

“Thanks for reminding me.” Thor said, “But we should wait for tomorrow morning to do that.” 

“By then Loki will probably have put you thousands of dollars in debt.” Peter said, “He knows how amazon prime works, if I were you I’d cancel that thing right now.” 

“Let him have some fun, he’s stayed out of trouble for a while, he’s earned it.” Thor said, “How about we call it a night?” 

“Yeah sure, but tomorrow you’re doing all the dishes.” Peter said.

“Fair enough.”


End file.
